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Wednesday, July 23, 2014
 
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Safe Touch Curriculum Minimize

 SAFE TOUCH PROGRAM

 

 Program Goals:

 

1.      To provide information at age-appropriate levels to make children aware of the concepts of safe touch vs. inappropriate touch.

2.      To stress, in the presentation, the concept that our bodies belong to God and that we must treat them with respect and protect them from harm to the extent we are able.

3.      To provide information in regard to:

·        having and recognizing good boundaries

·        good touch/bad touch and recognizing the uncomfortable feelings we get with bad touch

·        how to say NO and be able to get away from bad situations

·        how to report concerns to a safe adult

4.      To focus on safety, rather than on sexuality.

 

 

Please Note:

 

This program is designated to help children identify situations or events that do not feel safe to them.  Many times children (and even adults) fail to recognize the danger of being in situations with someone who is not being appropriate, because they fail to listen to their own sense of what is wrong.  This is why this program is strongly focused on helping children to recognize events and feelings that alert them to situations that may not be right.

 

 

 Safe Touch Program

 

Lesson, Ages Kindergarten – 3rd Grade:

 

Part 1:  Boundaries

 

There are rules everywhere, like speed limits, rules at recess, and rules in the classroom.  They help us know what we can or can’t do, what is safe or not safe, and when everyone knows them and follows them, then we are all safer. There are all kinds of rules. Rules help us feel safe and know what to do.  Sometimes, people break rules.  Usually, that makes you feel uncomfortable, because you are afraid they might get in trouble.

           

Discussion questions:

 

1.       Have you ever felt a funny, uncomfortable feeling when someone breaks the rules and you know something bad is going to happen?

2.       Let’s talk about examples of getting that uncomfortable feeling. What does your body do when something feels  wrong?  How does your tummy feel when you are scared or upset?  Are there any feelings in the rest of your body?  (Give examples like heart racing, etc.)

3.       Does it feel different to you when you have done something wrong than when you are around someone else who is doing something wrong?  What about when someone is asking you to do something wrong? If it feels different, how?

 

 

Part 2:  Safe Touch

 

Some rules are about touch.  People touch people all the time. Some touches are accidental, while some are on purpose. Some make you feel really good, like when you have a tummy ache or are scared and your mom hugs you. Sometimes being touched makes us feel safe and happy. Sometimes it feels bad or uncomfortable.

 

Discussion Questions:

 

1.       Let’s talk about ways or times we have been touched when it made us feel safe and good.

2.       Let’s talk about ways or times when being touched does not make us feel safe or good.

(Expect and elicit discussion about non-sexual touches, such as a fight with a friend, getting pinched by your brother, or getting a shot at the doctor’s office.)

 

Think of wearing a swimsuit. Sometimes people need to touch or examine you in those places that would be covered by a swimsuit.  But these parts of our bodies are private, and there are  rules or limits for touching someone in the swimsuit area.  People need parents’ permission and your permission to touch you in those places (like a doctor or a nurse). If someone  touches you  in those areas without  permission, or if they ask you to touch them in those areas, you might get that bad or uncomfortable feeling that tells you something is not right.  If you get that bad feeling, you have the right to say no and to get away, and you should tell someone what happened and how you feel. 

 

This is true whether this person is an adult, an older child, or even someone your age.  It is also true whether the person is a stranger or is someone you know.

 

Sometimes you are touched by someone and it does not feel uncomfortable, but you are not sure that it is okay. When that happens, you should talk to your parents, teacher, or another safe adult about it.  Examples of this would be if someone tickles you or pats you and you are just not sure. If they try to give you presents, or ask you to keep a secret or to do something that you know breaks the rules, you should talk to your parents about it.

 

Being safe, taking care of our bodies and being respectful of them is important to learn. This is especially true because God gives us our bodies and they belong to him.  One of the most important skills for being safe and being respectful involves talking to our parents or another safe adult about situations that we do not understand or where we do not feel OK.

 

 

Part 3:  Learning to say NO when you feel that funny, uncomfortable feeling

 

If someone touches you in a private area or does something else that gives you that bad or uncomfortable feeling:

·         The first thing you should do is immediately say NO, I don’t like that, stop. Stop now. 

·         Second, you should get away from that person immediately, if you don’t feel safe.

·         The third thing you should do is to go to a safe adult and tell them you need help.  Tell a safe adult* immediately; don’t wait.  Tell them what happened and how it made you feel -- even if someone asked you or told you not to tell.

 

*A safe adult is your parent, teacher, or other close family member.  Someone you trust to care about you, listen to you, and help you.

 

Discussion Questions:

           

1.  We talked about three steps you should take if you get that funny, uncomfortable feeling. What is the first thing we should do? (say no) What is the second thing? (get away.)  What is the third thing we should do?  (tell a safe adult)

2.  Be aware:  Sometimes people who behave inappropriately tell kids not to tell anyone about it. Talk about what to do if that happens.

 

 

Part 4:  Rules to help children be safe 

 

1.   You should know your full name, address (city and state), and phone number with area code.

2.   Never get into a car or go anywhere with any person, even if they say they have permission to take you, unless an adult you trust very much (like your parent or teacher) says it’s OK. 

3.       Never go anywhere with a stranger, even if they seem nice.

4.       Do not tell strangers where you live.

5.       Do not tell anyone your name, your address, your phone number, or the school that you go to over the computer.  If someone says something mean to you over the computer, or asks questions about your name or where you live over the computer, leave the computer right away and tell your mom or dad.

6.   If someone scares you or makes you feel funny, tell your parents or teacher right away.

7.   If an adult asks you to keep a special secret, tell your parents or another adult right away.  No adult should ever ask you to keep a secret.

8.   No one should touch you on parts of your body that are covered by a swimming suit.  You should not touch anyone else on those parts either.

9.   No one, not even a teacher or a close relative, has the right to touch you in a way that makes you feel funny or uncomfortable.  It’s OK to say no, get away and tell an adult you can trust.

10.   Sometimes some people who are friends or relatives ask us to hug or kiss them or sit on their lap.  If you don’t want to, tell your parents that you don’t want to.

11.  Sometimes, strangers say certain things in order to get kids to come with them.  Never go with a  stranger, even if they say something like: 

·         The stranger has lost his pet and needs your help to find it,

·         The stranger is lost and needs directions, or

·         Your mom or dad is hurt or sick and told the stranger to pick you up. 

(Note:  these are common lures that are used by child abductors.)

 

 

 

Lesson, Ages 4th – 6th Grade:

 

 

Part 1:  Boundaries

 

Boundaries are rules, like speed limits or rules in the classroom.  They help us know what we can or can’t do, what is safe or not safe, and when everyone knows them and follows them, then we are all safer. There are all kinds of boundaries and rules.  There are rules about how we talk, how we act, and how we interact with others. 

           

Discussion questions:

 

1.       Have you ever felt a funny, uncomfortable feeling when someone crosses a boundary and you know something bad is going to happen?

2.       Let’s talk about examples of getting that uncomfortable feeling. What does your body do when something feels  wrong?   How does your body react when you are scared or upset?

3.       Does it feel different to you when you have done something wrong than when you are around someone else who is doing something wrong?  What about when someone is asking you to do something wrong? If it feels different, how?

 

 

Part 2:  Safe Touch

 

Some rules are about touch.  People touch people all the time. Some touches are accidental, while some are on purpose. Some touches make you feel really good, like when you’re sick or sad and your mom hugs you. Other touches can feel bad or uncomfortable.

 

Discussion Questions:

 

1.       Let’s talk about ways or times we have been touched when it made us feel safe and good.

2.       Let’s talk about ways or times when being touched does not make us feel safe or good.

(Expect and elicit discussion about non-sexual touches, such as a fight with a

friend, getting pinched by your brother, or getting a shot at the doctor’s office.)

 

Think of wearing a swimsuit. Sometimes people need to touch or examine you in those places that would be covered by a swimsuit.  But these parts of our bodies are private, and there are  rules or limits for touching someone in the swimsuit area.  People need your parents’ permission and your permission to touch you in those places (like a doctor or a nurse). If someone  touches you  in those areas without  permission, or if they ask you to touch them in those areas, you might get that bad or uncomfortable feeling that tells you something is not right.  If you get that bad feeling, you have the right to say no and to get away, and you should tell someone what happened and how you feel. 

 

This is true whether this person is an adult, an older child, or even someone your age.  It is also true whether the person is a stranger or is someone you know.

 

Sometimes you are touched by someone and it does not feel uncomfortable, but you are not sure that it is ok. When that happens you should talk to your parents, teacher, or another safe adult about it.  Examples of this would be if someone tickles you or pats you and you are just not sure. If they try to give you presents, or ask you to keep a secret or to do something that you know breaks the rules, you should talk to your parents about it.

 

Being safe, taking care of our bodies and being respectful of them is important to learn. This is especially true because God gives us our bodies and they belong to him.  One of the most important skills for being safe and being respectful involves talking to our parents or another safe adult about situations that we do not understand or where we do not feel OK.

 

 

Part 3:  Learning to say NO when you feel that funny, uncomfortable feeling

 

If someone touches you in a private area or does something else that gives you that bad or uncomfortable feeling:

·         The first thing you should do is immediately say NO, I don’t like that, stop. Stop now. 

·         Second, you should get away from that person immediately, if you don’t feel safe.

·         The third thing you should do is to go to a safe adult and tell them you need help.  Tell an adult immediately; don’t wait.  Tell them what happened and how it made you feel -- even if someone asked you or told you not to tell.

 

A safe adult may not be the same person for everyone.  It may be a parent, teacher, neighbor or close relative.  It is someone who cares about us, will listen to us and can help us with our situation.  If you tell one adult that you need help, and they don’t help you, keep telling!  Keep telling until someone helps you feel safe.

 

Discussion Questions:

           

1.  We talked about three steps you should take if you get that funny, uncomfortable feeling. What are these steps?

2.  Sometimes people who behave inappropriately tell kids not to tell anyone about it. Talk about what to do if that happens.

 

 

Part 4:  Rules to help children be safe 

 

1.  Always use the Buddy System and never go places alone.  Predators usually focus on the “loners.”

2.  Always let someone know where you are going and with whom you’re going to be.

3.       Never get into a car or go with a person unless a parent has given permission. 

4.       Being safe when you’re on the internet is very, very important.  Never tell anyone your name, your address or phone number, or the school that you go to while you’re online.  It is strongly recommended that you only talk to people you know in real life while online.  The internet is NOT a safe place to make new friends – you never know who you’re really talking to.  NEVER agree to meet someone “in real life” who you met first online.  If someone online asks you personal questions, says something mean to you or about you, or asks to meet you in person, let your parents know immediately.

5.  It’s all right to be suspicious of adults who seem to be too friendly.   Trust your instincts or feelings when it doesn’t feel right.

6.  Tell your parents or another adult that you trust if anyone offers you money or gifts; if someone wants to take your picture and if any adult asks you to keep a secret.

7.  No one should ever touch you on parts of your body that are private to you.  Nor, if they ask you to, should you ever touch anyone on those parts also.

8.  If someone threatens you, yell “No” or “Stop” immediately.  Screaming and attracting attention is the surest way of scaring someone off.

9.  Trust your feelings!  If a situation doesn’t feel right, leave it and get help if needed.

10.  Never keep secrets.  If something comes up that seems difficult to handle, tell your parents or a trusted adult.  If that person doesn’t listen, go to another person who will listen.  Keep telling until someone really hears you.

11.  Sometimes, strangers say certain things in order to get kids to come with them.  Never go with a stranger, even if they say something like: 

·         The stranger has lost his pet and needs your help to find it,

·         The stranger is lost and needs directions,

·         Your mom or dad is hurt or sick and told the stranger to pick you up, or

·         You have won a contest or are invited to a “modeling tryout” 

(Note:  these are common lures that are used by child abductors.)

 

 

 Lesson, Ages 7th – 8th Grade:

 

 

Part I:  Boundaries

 

Boundaries are rules, like speed limits or rules in the classroom. They help us know what we can or can’t do, what is safe or not safe, and when everyone knows them and follows them, then we are all safer. There are three main kinds of boundaries and rules. Boundaries can be physical, emotional or behavioral. Physical boundaries are about who can touch us and where they can touch us.  Emotional boundaries are about being close to a person – and what we share with another person.  Behavioral boundaries are about what we are willing to do in a given situation, and what we are not willing to do.

 

Discussion questions:

 

  1. What is an example of a physical boundary? What is an example of an emotional boundary? What is an example of a behavioral boundary?
  2. How might you respond to a violation of a physical boundary?  An emotional boundary?  A behavioral boundary?
  3. Have you ever felt a funny, uncomfortable feeling when someone crosses a physical or emotional boundary, or when you cross your own behavioral boundary and you are afraid something bad is going to happen?
  4. Let’s talk about examples of getting that uncomfortable feeling. What feelings do you get that tell you something is wrong?

Part 2: Safe Touch

 

One of the gifts God has given us is our ability to receive good feelings when we touch or are touched by others.  For example, a mother’s touch can comfort a baby when he is in her arms or having a parent or grandparent or good friend put his or her arm around our shoulders when we’re upset.  People touch people all the time. Some touches are accidental, while some are on purpose. Some touches make us feel good, like hugs from friends and family members. Other touches can make us feel bad or uncomfortable.

 

Discussion questions:

 

  1. Let’s talk about ways or times we have been touched when it made us feel safe and good.
  2. Let’s talk about ways or times when being touched does not make us feel safe or good.

            (Expect and elicit discussion about non-sexual touches, such as a fight with a

friend or sibling.)

 

There are parts of our bodies that are private and there are rules or limits for touching those parts of our bodies. People (like a doctor or a nurse) need our parent’s permission and our permission to touch us in those places. If someone touches us in those areas without permission, or if they ask us to touch them in those areas, we may get that uncomfortable feeling that tells us something is wrong. If we get that uncomfortable feeling, the responsible choice is to get up and get away.  It is important that we tell someone what has happened and how we feel. It is important that we tell, whether the person who touched us is an adult, an older child, or even someone of our own age. It is true whether the person is a stranger or someone we may know.

 

Sometimes someone touches us and it does not feel uncomfortable, but we’re not sure that it is OK. When that happens it’s important that we talk to our parents, teacher, or another safe adult about it.  If someone tries to give us presents, or asks us to keep a secret or to do something that we know breaks the rules, it’s important that we talk to our parents about it.

 

Being safe, taking care of our bodies and being respectful of them is important to learn. This is especially true because God gives us our bodies and they belong to Him. One of the most important skills for being safe and being respectful involves talking to our parents or another safe adult about situations that we do not understand or where we do not feel OK.

 

 

Part 3: Learning to say NO when you feel that uncomfortable feeling

 

If someone touches you in a private area or does something else that gives us that uncomfortable feeling:

  • The first thing you should do is immediately say NO. Stop.
  • Second, we should get away from that person immediately, if we don’t feel safe.
  • The third thing we should do is to go to a safe adult and tell them that we need help.  A responsible adult should be told immediately.  Tell them what happened and how it made us feel – even if someone has asked us or told us not to tell.  We need to keep telling until someone makes it stop.

 

A safe adult may not be the same person for everyone.  It may be a parent, teacher, neighbor or close relative.  It is someone who cares about us, will listen to us and can help us with our situation.  An unsafe adult is someone who makes us feel uncomfortable or uneasy; asks us to keep secrets or gives us unexpected gifts.  He or she may ask for directions, ask for help in finding a lost pet or ask to help them carry something.  It is important to know that adults do not need to ask children for help.

 

Sometimes adolescents have difficulty telling about an uncomfortable incident.  This may be because they have trouble finding the right words to say.  They may be afraid that their parents will get angry or not believe them.  They might also feel like it was somehow their fault.  It is still important, however, to find a safe adult and let the adult know what happened.

 

Discussion questions:

 

  1. We talked about three steps you should take if you get that uncomfortable feeling. What are those steps?
  2. Note:  Sometimes people who behave inappropriately tell kids not to tell anyone about it. Talk about what to do if that happens.

 

 

Part 4: Rules to help children be safe

 

1.       Always use the Buddy System and never go places alone. Predators usually focus on kids that are alone.

2.       Always let someone know where you are going and with whom you’re going to be.

3.       Never get into a car or go with a stranger or a person who makes you feel uncomfortable.

4.       It’s all right to be suspicious of adults who seem to be too friendly. Trust your instincts or feelings when it doesn’t feel right.

5.       Being safe when you’re on the internet is very, very important.  Never tell anyone your name, your address or phone number, or the school that you go to while you’re online.  It is strongly recommended that you only talk to people you know in real life while online.  The internet is NOT a safe place to make new friends – you never know who you’re really talking to.  NEVER agree to meet someone “in real life” who you met first online.  If someone online asks you personal questions, says something mean to you or about you, or asks to meet you in person, let your parents know immediately.

6.       Tell your parents or another adult that you trust if anyone offers you money or gifts, if someone wants to take your picture and if any adult asks you to keep a secret.

7.       No one should ever touch you on parts of you body that are private to you. Nor, if they ask you to, should you ever touch anyone on those parts.

8.       If someone threatens you, yell “No” or “Stop” immediately. Screaming and attracting attention is the surest way of scaring someone off.

9.       Trust your feelings! If a situation doesn’t feel right, leave it and get help if needed.

10.   Never keep secrets. If something comes up that seems difficult to handle, tell your parents or a trusted adult. If that person doesn’t listen, go to another person who will listen. Keep telling until someone really hears you.

11.  Predators use trick to lure kids.  Never go with a stranger, even if they say something like: 

·         The stranger has lost his pet and needs your help to find it,

·         The stranger is lost and needs directions,

·         Your mom or dad is hurt or sick and told the stranger to pick you up, or

·         You have won a contest or are invited to a “modeling tryout” 

(Note:  these are common lures that are used by child abductors.)

 

 

 
      
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